Shedding It

I spent a chunk of today working on the sunroom, and another chunk trying to write an application for a job in my hobby. That led me down a bit of a rabbit hole trying to find copies of documents that had been damaged on my old computer; now I am on a campaign to clean up all those CDs and get them out of the house. The application process reminded me of lots of arts and research things I had done in the past and completely forgotten about. It was an incentive to sit down and finish a little project I have been working on for a while. Some months ago, I started a course on medieval manuscripts. It was really interesting, but the best part was the hands-on project of making a small book. This was hugely intimidating. I found an amusing text (a friend had bodged together an oath made by senior artisans to uphold the arts in my medieval hobby group with hand-washing instructions. Apparently, it takes just over 20 seconds to recite the oath, so it is perfect). I wrote out the text in an

Sometimes, my daughter is just brilliant. I have a lovely little sun room, with space for my computer, a table, some plants, a storage cupboard, and a few other things. But my computer needs repair so I don’t use the space as a should. Instead, I have taken over the dining room table with art. Today, my daughter suggested I redo that room and make it just for my art. I started making a few little steps in that direction today. I dealt with the stack of shredding. I made decisions about music books that have been sitting unused for too long. That led to a) playing the piano for a while and b) starting to cull the books on my music shelf. There was even a little time for singing and playing some tunes on the recorder. Once I start on a project like a serious room clean-up, I can often get really engaged, so I’m excited. Having my daughter egging me on is nice too. I made a special effort to finish a project today so that I can move on to making art in a new space. I have mittens - me

Now we will count to twelve and we will all keep still for once on the face of the earth, let's not speak in any language; let's stop for a second, and not move our arms so much. It would be an exotic moment without rush, without engines; we would all be together in a sudden strangeness. Fishermen in the cold sea would not harm whales and the man gathering salt would not look at his hurt hands. Those who prepare green wars, wars with gas, wars with fire, victories with no survivors, would put on clean clothes and walk about with their brothers in the shade, doing nothing. What I want should not be confused with total inactivity. Life is what it is about... If we were not so single-minded about keeping our lives moving, and for once could do nothing, perhaps a huge silence might interrupt this sadness of never understanding ourselves and of threatening ourselves with death. Now I'll count up to twelve and you keep quiet and I will go.

I slept really well last night, but felt so exhausted by 10:30 that I went back to bed for a nap. I just woke up almost in tears. The specifics of what I dreamt that left me so profoundly sad are already fading, but it got me thinking about how others are coping at this time. It seems I am not alone. The Smithsonian Magazine reports that anxiety, processing strong emotions, and even the slower pace of life as contributing factors to an increase in  vivid dreams . A sleep expert who has suffered vivid dreams herself offers four ways to sleep better during COVID  here . Unsurprisingly, they look a lot like everyday good sleep hygiene, but they are worth repeating: get up at the same time every day; be as physically active as possible during the day; relax and put down the electronic devices well before bedtime; and use your bed only for sleep/sex. I have started watching the stats on cases and deaths worldwide and by country obsessively. The total official number of deaths topped 200

Today started out as a day of “shoulds”. I checked in with friends and saw who was baking bread. I should do that. Someone else mentioned getting their laundry out on the line. I should do laundry today too. And there was a discussion about how Duolingo is going this week. I should really get on that. I did manage a morning fitness session but it was a lovely day, so I should really have gone for a walk as well. Oh, and I bought groceries with the intention of doing some cooking experiments this weekend. I should start making all the things! So many shoulds. They are a trap. And I fall for them all the time. I did manage to do most of the laundry (my daughter came home and wanted to add things so she finished it up). I did some Duolingo - not as much as I wanted, but I cut it short so I could join some activities on line. I did cook up rumaki, a mid-century appetiser I have wanted to try for years, plus a pot of black-eyed pea masala that will be nice for lunches next week. An

One of the downsides of working from home is that there is very little separation between my work and my relaxation and fitness spaces. As I mentioned yesterday, just getting into fitness gear for a workout can be impossible because you get tied up at the “office” and don’t leave yourself enough time to change. It happened again today, but I dressed in anticipation that this might be an issue so I was slightly better prepared for the transition. All I had time to do was switch from bedroom slippers to my ballet slippers and pull out a dining room chair to use as my barre. I ended up doing an advanced dance class, which was hard work, but also fun because I got to see people I used to dance with and rarely see any more. Here’s a view of my “dance studio”. Afterwards, I took time out to watch a movie (The Guernsey Literary and Potato Pie Society - I had loved the book so this was a great find). While I watched, I worked on my silly calligraphy and illumination project. Since tonight

It was a beautiful day today. I know that because someone posted a selfie and complained about the grey sky, so I looked out my window and discovered that the sky here was blue and cloudless. I started my first conference call at 7 am again today, and was on the phone/videoconference almost continuously until about 6:30. I wanted to go for a walk, but then my Mom called. Plus I needed to eat something. During the day, my daughter escaped to pick up a new bell for her bicycle (ordered on-line for pick-up), and did all the groceries while she was out. Some people find grocery shopping scary right now, but I look forward to the excuse to get out. So much for that, this week. Suddenly, it was 7 pm; almost too late for a walk before dark. But it’s Thursday, which means Zumba with the Rideau Speedeaus swim club! An hour later, I was hot and sweaty (no time to change out of my work clothes into proper t-shirt and shorts), but very happy to have spent time dancing to Latin music. As I cooled

I walked down the street to get take-out food tonight for the Wednesday Canadian Kitchen Party in support of Canadian restaurants (it’s happening again next week on Facebook, with some well-known Canadian musicians - join if you can). It was at the end of what would normally be rush hour, and it was eerie. There were few cars and fewer pedestrians. I could hear leaves rustling along the street, papers flapping on a construction site and even the sounds of bicycle chains against the gears as cyclists went by. There were lots of bird songs on a street where birds are rarely heard (though over the years I have spotted a woodpecker and a sharpshinned hawk). The sky was clear. It got me thinking about The World Without Us, by Alan Weisman. It’s a frightening but beautiful exploration of the earth’s recuperative powers after various disasters that take humans out of the equation. As I work towards next steps for my own staff, and for development assistance programming in hard-hit countries

I have been working on this blog for over three months now. Given the way the world has turned topsy-turvy, I haven’t been doing exactly what I had aimed to do here. But I have managed a few, so I am celebrating that a little tonight. - I have posted every day but one; They aren’t always big or thoughtful posts, but I have been trying to pay greater attention to the world - to be more mindful - and to capture some of those thoughts here each day. - I think I am on-track for my fitness goals of 220 workouts in 2020. I want to be doing more. I especially miss the huge cardio workouts from swim practice, or even cycling to work. Cycling for fun isn’t going to happen for a bit because it is really cold out there! And I miss my horse. - Getting rid of things remains a work in progress. I am dutifully tracking every time I get rid of something, or find a better way to use it.The incentive for a major decluttering just isn’t there because a) work is too busy and b) I have no place to st

Today was hard. I’m not sure why, except that it was Monday. For a while I just indulged my funk, something I rarely do. Today, though, I needed to acknowledge those unhappy feelings and just wallow in them a bit. I wasn’t productive at work, but I did take an extra long lunch updating my financial records and typed out some new recipes I want to try. I took time for tea via Google Hangouts with some friends. Eventually, I was able to blast through some emails and call it a day. I went for a 4 km walk along a different route, one that took me past McKay Lake. I was amused to notice that we are truly Canadian. The government asks that we stay 6 feet or 2 metres apart? No problem! How about we stay at least 4 metres apart? It has become habit now to move off the walking path, into the bicycle lane or down the middle of the street, cross the street or turn the corner all to avoid any contact beyond saying hello. I knit more of my mitten while talking to my parents (almost done!), and

This morning’ sermon was on the story of Doubting Thomas, the gospel story told every year on the week after Easter. This year the sermon was given by Pamela Yarrow, a retired minister who is now part of our congregation. She often brings an interesting interpretation or perspective to her talks, and today was no different. She talked about Thomas as a man of courage. At a time when all the other disciples were in hiding because of the uproar following the disappearance of Jesus’ body from the tomb, Thomas was away from the house when Jesus first came to the disciples. We don’t know what Thomas was doing - buying food? checking to see whether it was safe for everyone to leave hiding? I had never thought to question why he wasn’t at home before. Thomas also showed courage by asking questions. Pamela acknowledged that we all have doubts about our own faith sometimes. She related how much she struggled with the joyous Easter season a few months after her husband’s death. On Jesus’ sec

I started my day with a stretch and strength session via Zoom. I cleaned more of my refrigerator (I hate doing it all at once, so I do sections as shelves get emptied - yesterday it was everything in the door). Plus I swept in places that seem to have been overlooked recently (yay mat work so I get different perspectives), and washed under the kitchen sink. I cooked - a lot! I made chocolate and cranberry scones to share with a friend who was doing me a favour. I fell down the Mid-Century Menu rabbit hole to produce creamed turkey in a rice ring with a side of asparagus salad. I used up the last of the turkey in a turkey salad. I had a nice long walk with my daughter. I finished the evening with a session of song via Zoom, with friends from across Ontario and visitors from across Canada and the USA. I even told a story. While I listened, I worked on a craft project. It all felt fulfilling, but not rushed. Tomorrow I’m going to do some research on my retirement options. I am ha

It’s interesting to notice just how much attitudes have changed in a few weeks. One person I know was furious just a few weeks ago because visiting elderly relatives in care homes was forbidden. Now they are equally outraged because some people are still trying to sneak in. My mom’s oldest friend, who lives in a seniors’ home and just last week complained bitterly about not being allowed to go outside, even for a walk around the grounds. This week she is being served meals in her room and is glad to be isolated because three people there have tested positive for COVID. I went to the office today to pick up SIM cards for employees evacuated from Asia. I saw fewer than 30 people and felt uncomfortable. Going back to work, eventually, with the building full, will take time to get used to. Then I felt like some sort of a drug dealer, meeting people to hand oer the cards in parking lots, across from closed schools, dropping one package with a stranger (my colleague was on the phone so her

It was a busy day. I started at 6:30 am and just finished my last phone call at 11:25 pm. To be fair, I did take out time for a stretch class in the morning and a 25 minute walk in the evening. I allowed myself to update my financial records too (I obsessively track all my spending because I am much more careful with my money when I do). I finished repairing a pair of favourite slippers late last night, and today I started working on making a pair of socks for my medieval hobby since I finally found all the pieces. I should feel moderately accomplished, but instead, I just feel tired. My helpers were pretty useless today. That’s Mambo taking over my yoga mat. And taking over the table (she is far too big to fit on that trivet). Mambo sleeping on the job, or possibly work has broken her.

Or possibly ch-ch-ch-changes. Songs are going through my head tonight. There was a lot of changing in my day today. I got dressed for work. After work I got into my medieval clothes and danced around my living room for a music video someone is putting together. Then I changed again into my Star Trek onesie for a surprise Zoom birthday party for a friend. Somewhere in there, I took time out for take-out dinner and the Canadian Kitchen Party on Facebook, which featured some well-known Canadian singer-songwriters encouraging everyone to eat out and support local restaurants. My favourite was Randy and Tal Bachman doing a a COVID inspired filk of Takin’ Care of Business (wash your hands). Work was busy, and I never did get out for a walk, but I did a bit of silly dancing (Safety Dance was the music for our video) and some craft work. I also went to the garden to grab a picture of my flowers in the snow.

More snow is possible tonight, but there were definite signs of spring in my back yard a couple of days ago. Crocus that is gradually spreading across my back yard. Puschkinia, or Russian Snowdrops (possibly my favourite spring bulb). Scilla, or Siberian Squills. Snowdrops, nearing the end of their blossom period. I had never noticed the little green bits before, possibly because I pay most attention when they first start blooming. Rhubarb is starting to grow. My perennial Egyptian Walking Onions are back. That bed is so overgrown with grass I can’t tell whether the asparagus is in there or not. Hopefully it will stop raining soon so I can give it a good check. The rain has been been quite dreary so I haven’t bothered going out at all, except to pick up a parcel (two pairs of colourful linen pants for summer - yay!), and to say hello to my neighbour a few doors away. Instead, I did a zumba workout that was rather fun. I felt a bit silly dancing in my l

This week it feels like I have been discovering more projects than I have been finishing. When I cleaned out under my bed, I discovered a bag that needed a new drawstring, so I braided a new one using some wool that I really should just get rid of (I may, yet). Then my daughter handed me her bed sheet with still more holes worn through. I have no idea how she does that! But it is all mended now. Friends organized a paint evening that I joined for a bit to work on a calligraphy and illumination project I had started for an on-line course months ago. I figured out what I wanted to do, found all my paints and calligraphy ink, then remembered I have another illumination project out in my sun-room. Ah well; that can wait for another evening. And while searching for fabric for masks last week, I came across a piece of hand-woven fabric from Guatemala that has been sitting in my stash waiting to be made into something for over 15 years. I decided to make it into something very loosely inspire

I am taking some quiet time to relax today. There will be a turkey later, and a ham, but for now I am listening to my local church service on-line while mending and doing laundry. There is sunshine, so I can hang things on the line, which is great for the climate. These pictures are from yesterday’s walk. The is a bunny decoration outside the butcher shop.  The next two are outside one of the local seniors’ homes. Luckily, so far, no COVID there. The third gives more details of some local businesses we can support on-line. The last one is from a hairdresser’s. I am amused by the original sign simply being updated by hand. It tells a story about the progression of this pandemic as people learn more. But also sad because it means someone will be unable to work for at least a few more weeks. Happy holidays everyone - whether you celebrate a religious holiday or are simply a retail worker getting a much-needed few days.

I started my morning with a Facebook Live stretching session offered by a local gym owner. When it was over, the silence really bothered me. As an introvert, I usually need silence, wordless music or at least quiet contemplation to recharge. It’s why swimming, riding my horse, or being on a bicycle are my sports of choice. I have compensated today by watching a couple of Netflix shows, having a video chat, and watching some FB live events. The Virdual Medieval Event from Australia has a series of interesting classes. Equally fun is looking at all the pictures of the tents and other set-ups people are using at home since the in-person event had to be cancelled due to COVID-19. Another sure sign I am getting tired of being home was the fact that I scrubbed down my stove, and pulled both it and my refrigerator out to clean along the sides, behind and below each appliance. And I cleaned out under my bed and threw away more bits of fabric, as well as doing some mending. I even helped my d

I got out for a good long walk with my daughter, which I desperately needed. My hips had really stiffened up with all the sitting. Also, today was crazy carb day so I needed to burn off some energy. I got a craving for bagels yesterday, so that was the first thing I started, yesterday, using my sourdough starter. They were the last thing finished and by the time I tested one, I needed to cover it in peanut butter and banana so that I could get some protein and fruit. While waiting for the bagel dough to rise, I made matzoh because I had no bread in the house. These were super easy and quick, so I will definitely make them again. Finally, I made a tomato gravy recipe that a friend had mentioned months ago. The idea has stuck with me ever since. This recipe is also a bit of a carb fest, with fat and flour to make a rich gravy with the chicken broth and tomatoes. It is a quick and tasty treat that I will definitely make again. Normally served over biscuits or grits, I se

1) Garb Friday. Some of my medieval hobbyist friends have taken to “casual Fridays” during self isolation by dressing up in their medieval clothes. Today, I finally joined in, wearing a cozy cotehardie. That turned out to be a good idea, as it snowed today.   2) The cats seem to enjoy having company. I’m not sure I am equally pleased, though kitty cuddles during the day can be nice. This wasn’t during one of my many video conferences, though it could have been. Mambo loves to join in, much to the amusement of my team. This was actually using a Skype call with my sister last night - I accidentally took a picture of myself. Do not be fooled by that innocent face. Pandora was stealing puzzle pieces - I just didn’t manage to get a picture of her with them in her mouth. 3) A great thing about being home may turn out to be the variety of meals. I got a strange craving for curried eggs this week. I have no idea why, because I didn’t even know that curried eggs were a thi

Please tell me I’m not the only one who maintains endless lists of everything. It probably started as one of those 1980’s management techniques I picked up in an effort to be professional. Over the years it has expanded to become my second brain - with two busy young kids, an active career and serious attempts to have both a social life and a house my mother would be proud of, keeping track of everything from household chores to grocery lists, to work tasks, lists were essential. Then I added in things I wanted to do in my free time - project ideas, what to pack for camping or traveling abroad, books I wanted to read. And then the self-improvement (those lists have not survived, though I do track my participation in various sports activities). Followed by lists of things I have accomplished (new recipes tried, what have I gotten rid of each day, etc.). The lists have changed format over the years. The daily paper list of tasks at the office has been replaced by reminders in my phone.

The graph below made me laugh out loud when I first found it. Today it made me smile wryly, because it is increasingly true. I am getting into pants each day, but the days are very long and getting enough  any exercise can be a challenge. Today my daughter invited me for a walk but I didn’t think I had time between calls. My last meeting ran late and there wasn’t really time for a walk before I had to go to the grocery store, which took longer than planned so dinner was late and suddenly there was no time for a yoga session before my last call of the night. Tomorrow is another day, so I’ll try to do better. If nothing else, there will be a little walk from and to my garage when I drop off my car for its seasonal tire and oil change. And for the rest of the graph? I don’t drink coffee, but tea in my traveling “work mug” remains a vital reminder that I am working, not lounging around the house. Shaving is clearly important to some in a time when barber shops are closed - I didn’t recog

I walked down my main street twice today, which gave me a decent half hour of walking. The first walk was to take masks to the post office for my cousin, uncle and aunt in BC. On the way, I saw my first robin. It took me a while to find it in the tree, where it was singing its heart out. I also noticed ways that different shops are adapting. I was saddened to see that a restaurant I like has closed for the duration, but others are finding ways to adapt. In addition to take-out, several are doing deliveries with a local company, and one of them is even doing a pop-up delivery service to another part of town (one that happens to be the home of a couple of their most faithful patrons). The florist’s shop had a vase outside to leave notes (possibly for orders, possibly for payments). You can order books on-line, by email or by phoning the local independent bookshop. They will arrange a contactless delivery in the vestibule at the front of their shop. The gourmet shop will also do contact

I am blessed to have some talented painters among my friends. I am also blessed with goofy friends. Today these things came together in a Bob Ross painting session. We all set up in our own houses, put the selected Bob Ross video (Shades of Grey, Season 2, Episode 4, available on YouTube) on a computer, and set up a second phone or computer for a Google Hangout while we painted. Takeaways: - Bob Ross paints really fast! - I need to invest in new paints and maybe some new tools (bigger brushes, a palette knife). - I miss painting and need to make more time for it (also true of so many other things). - I really need to work on my technique. - Painting with friends is a lot of fun.

Today felt very social. I went to two grocery stores (because one didn‘t have one of the things on my list). I talked to two cashiers, one of whom I haven’t seen in ages. I took groceries and masks to my parents and ended up staying for lunch. I had been prepared to leave things on their step, but they welcomed some company and I have been careful about avoiding contact with others so I think it was okay. I talked to two of my neighbours - one while hanging out laundry for the first time this spring, and the other as I got back from collecting a game being given away by someone in the neighbourhood. There were lots of people out on my first little walk so I came straight home. I went for a second walk and got to see a new puppy (no patting though) and say hello to people who are all being extra polite because of social distancing. I grew up in Germany where it was practically mandatory to greet everyone on the street. I have always found Canadians cold in comparison. Maybe a side benef

We are now through week 2 (I think?) of working from home. Days are blurring together. There is new grief today as people who were evacuated from postings abroad were informed overnight that their postings will be terminated early if they were due to return to Canada in August (the normal time for such moves). I am still struggling to find my own routines, but a half hour of yoga or something similar in the morning is helpful. So is refusing to check my emails more than a few times in the evening. And this morning I baked bread. Baking bread seems to be the new pandemic thing, and many are turning to sourdough because of yeast shortages in the stores. I have baked bread from my sourdough starter for more than 30 years, usually every week or two. Today I felt like baguettes; with lettuce, spicy sausage and hot mustard, it felt very French. That is definitely not my routine lunch, but I am okay with that.

This is surprisingly difficult. I am trying to get my team thinking about how to sustain themselves over the long term. Some are keen to do extra overtime, but I need to balance out workloads so everyone has enough to do and - to the extent possible - no-one has too much. I have discovered that my days are still long, but if I join in a group chat with a few friends each morning I am energized and more enthusiastic for having taken a few minutes to myself. That mid-morning break is proving vital. I’m also working to get a little more exercise in. For a while, it was a struggle to get up from my chair for hours on end; now I am managing at least a 30 minute walk or a fitness video.

I’m feeling the crafty love today. I started naalbinding new soles onto my favourite slippers, made liver, sage and bacon roll-ups (a Graham Kerr recipe for those of you who remember the Galloping Gourmet), bacon and egg breakfast muffins, and now I’m off to make some masks for all my family. They may not help much, but I have fabric and a pattern so I’m jazzed. I only walked as far as the grocery store tonight, but it’s better than nothing.